If you do a Google search for images of the Holy Family there are a lot of results. And as should be expected, there are variations based on the area, culture and ethnic background of the artists where the image was created.
For example:
Joseph, Young, strong and virile A young couple in love, looking forward to marriage when Mary was called by God. Here is another one:
But there are some variations you might not expect to see. In this one, Joseph is presented as a significantly older man.
Notice the apparent age of Joseph here:
In many images and icons, he is depicted as a very old man. This is not the image of a man starting out in life.
There are many artists throughout history that think of Joseph as an old man, and in some cases, very old. From this small sampling, you can see that this is not a unique or even rare concept. Where does this idea come from?
There are many biblical style books or books with stories related to the New Testament, but they aren't in the Bible. There are dozens, or maybe even hundreds, depending on where you draw the line, limiting your definition of biblical. It was up to the church to determine which of these books qualified to be in the Bible and which didn't.
What became of these books that didn't make the cut? Well, they are still out there. In some cases, with the help of scholars that we can trust, we can still learn from them. We do not have any guarantee of accuracy in our faith, as the Church does not stand behind these writings. However, as history, they were written in a time period much closer than our own, and as such they offer valuable clues and insight to many topics.
One book is the "Protoevangelium of James", also known as the "Infancy Narrative of James." It's not in the Bible and wouldn't have qualified due to a variety of reasons including when it was written. It was written too late, too remotely from the time it described. But there is a lot of good information we can get from this book. For example, it is here that we learn that Mary's parents were named Anna and Joachim. Again, that's not guaranteed to be true, but we accept these names. These are the names the Church uses. But, in the event that they are wrong, it wouldn't harm our faith.
Another thing we read in this book is that Mary was dedicated to the temple as a very small child. Temple girls were turned over to the temple as very small children where they lived and served. When these temple girls reached a certain age, they were no longer considered clean and could not continue to live in the temple. Other living arrangements had to be made for them. They were still dedicated to God and would never go back to living a normal family life. They would not fall in love, get married and have children. But they required the care that could be offered by an established family in a stable home. Typically, an older gentleman, a widower that already had a family of his own, would take in one of these girls and provide and care for her. They would enter into a marriage contract to provide for her protection and security, but it was not intended to be a marriage for love and family. A temple girl was dedicated to God and could never be dedicated to a man in that way.
Was this true for Mary? Is this what really happened? We can never know. It's not an infallible scripture. But as a historical writing, it does tell us what tradition was being shared, and about an existing practice of the time. And remember, we have been taught that Mary was approximately 15 years old when she was betrothed to Joseph. It fits the possible timeline.
What I like about the old Joseph theory is that it answers a lot of questions.
1) It helps to explain why Mary remained perpetually a Virgin and never planned on living otherwise.
2) For people who are convinced that Jesus had immediate brothers and sisters, in this tradition, it is possible. They could have been step-siblings from a prior marriage.
3) It changes the nature of the shame placed on Joseph when Mary became pregnant, as he was supposed to protect her from this and he failed. Naturally, he would have been anxious to separate from her.
4) Since Joseph would have already been an old man, it could explain why we never hear about him again after Jesus is 12.
The story fits. And there are a lot of Christians in the world that believe exactly this. The Church does not have any specific teaching that is mandatory or settled in this area and allows for flexibility here. This belief tends to be popular in the eastern rites and among the eastern orthodox Christian churches. Hence you may see a lot of icons in the east depicting Joseph in this way.
On the other hand, the Latin rite of the Catholic Church tend more toward young Joseph, in love, planning to start a family. A primary justification for this is that a young Joseph would have been better equipped to take care of the family when they went to Egypt.
Whether you embrace it or reject it, you are on safe ground. But either way, there is a certain sense to this that makes it worth knowing.